becoming unstuck

ever wake up with a song in your mind, find yourself singing it softly to yourself, wondering how it ever appeared in your head?  this was one of those days, in the sunshine as i walked to the park, humming it then finding myself softly when i come back, i’ll wear your ring…and you know why it’s in your mind, because you are going through a living death, where all of your reality is questioned, where you wonder if this is just a bad dream, and he’ll shake you gently to wake you up, and tie that necklace around your neck himself, not send it in the mail as a souvenir of a lost life.  it’s  strangely when you hear that low voice saying every place i go, i’ll think of you, every song i sing, i’ll sing for you yet then i only hear myself responding already i’m so lonesome i could die.  when you can’t explain what’s right in front of you, when you’re so unbelievably amazed that someone could pull such a 180, when you know you’ll be okay (because you’ve been shattered before) but still see the evidence of him all around you…there is a time to grieve and there is a time to meditate and there is a time to move on, and i have many words inside me that are going to grow from this…it’s a matter of warming the self, sweetening the sour, letting it all go, letting the raw be exposed to the wind so the heart may heal.  and it will, and i will.  i am.  yet still the quiet guitar plays in my mind, and the eyes close, wondering, wondering, where is the strength, the courage, the fierce lust for life that once looked into my green eyes and said to me after a night of pasta making, we gonna make it. today i say only this – do the work.  prove it. then, only then, may we start again.

Now the time has come to leave you One more time let me kiss you Close your eyes I’ll be on my way Dream about the days to come When I won’t have to leave alone About the times, I won’t have to say

So kiss me and smile for me Tell me that you’ll wait for me Hold me like you’ll never let me go Cause I’m leavin’ on a jet plane Don’t know when I’ll be back again Oh babe, I hate to go


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