cautionary tale of whatever

there is a horde of butterflies flapping their wings madly and i can’t seem to close my eyes like i want.

this is not my favorite place. skip ahead and just be with me. prove the rhythm is not what they say but what should be.

you looked at me without blinking and your kiss unlocked me. you left me sleepy and flummoxed and i consider some of that a good thing. i look down at my hands and i see question marks. but i am through asking. wherever i am on the train, i’m still moving forward. even when i pause and look about my life, i see flowers blooming where there should be no life, and wonder if you might be that one to take my face in your hands and say, honey you don’t gotta look no more.

but i will take what the world hands to me and i will sit on the ledge, sunshine on my cheeks and kicking my legs about, waiting for your mind to catch up and see that it’s as easy or complex as you want it to be. i already bid adieu to the wrong, and breathed deeper the minute i let that world fall away. everyone sees but few gaze deeply.

today, i feel the rush of heat to my skin as i remember that moment. we sat in the restaurant and you looked after me, you looked into me, you dared me to see you. i touch my upper lip and the sensation is there. your hand on the small of my back. altogether a jumbled mess, i rarely present myself wholly yet when you walked up, your words fell off the page and i could sense your mind trembling. what is it that makes the mind decide to jump or hide or embrace…?

“and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant and whatever a sun will always sing is you” ~ ee cummings


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