don’t you know i lead with my heart? some emotional creatures, they call us no, it’s just that when i feel – i must FEEL there is no hiding from the pain there is no masking the joy oh, woman, you are ferocious, you are a force of nature! (eyes roll) i lead with my heart i spell out what i love i will tell you what you mean to me whether or not you’re ready to listen. grateful – be damn grateful for every person who gives you love, for every experience that teaches you, and you will be happy savor the life you’ve been given, the new chance you’ve been given each morning it’s something i can’t describe you’ve got to taste it
last night we ate thyme scented chicken and homemade ricotta cavatelli with spicy pork sugo i can’t tell you how it tasted, i can only close my eyes last night we drank the wine and i felt so safe talking to her, emptying all my fears onto the tablecloth this is it? or is it that? and i felt that moment – i am becoming less afraid
last night i told him of my fears, realistic or unrealistic, i told him why is there shame in being afraid i admitted it wasn’t easy for me to be vulnerable they always poked and prodded at my fears before he made it okay he listened
i am afraid i won’t suck the marrow from life as much as i’ve been instructed to i am afraid she will end and i will be a gaping hole i am afraid a person i love is dying, and it’s not okay. she is too young, too wonderful.
so i am honoring fuck it all, i am going to be out there loud abundant celebrating savoring adventuring
let go of your meekness and join me. mi casa, su casa.