Draw a line in the sand and then make a stand. ~ from ‘Rent’
i write words and words and erase and erase. there, it’s out of my hands. i never gave a damn about the upper floors and they knew it. take me to the kitchens, the gardens, the place where things are truly created. i don’t sit behind the monstrosity that is fear or the recrimination that lies in obsessive mind. i built the foundation and it is now yours. claims i’ll never make, egos i’ll never soften, the collective heart you never paid attention to. legacy is existential – i am flying above, headed out to sea. there are more who urge me to be than those who clip my wings. thank the stars for that, every morning i thank the sun for shining through clouds and even when there is thunder i am so very grateful. i see beyond the buildings into the mountains and trees. i see beyond the facade of material and into purpose. intention is the light i have turned on today – i told you i would fly, i could fly, and now i must fly. where is the love that beckoned me here to begin with? i saw his body go under the sheet and help help help me i said, help me learn the lessons, move beyond, and see the moon. you emerged from the mistakes i’d made, from the bridges i’d crossed and the lanterns i’d held in mists indescribable. my life was never about them, it was about the whole. i woke up and they all said no. i woke up and they pushed me away. i spun around and around and saw her face, pleading to let her go, and i crashed into walls. there was no other story written beyond my own – push those words onto the page, feel the callouses of so many years and reach out to those who see you. see you. see me. i was told once the mirror was broken as i gazed. no longer. i’ve felt the love and i’ve seen the pain and there is only one direction. you are my truth, mi amore. you are my salvation, mi amiga. you are my strength and my proof that i’ve given all i could give. and i walk away, on my terms, with smiles, with knowledge. i walk the goddess walk.
It ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to. ~W.C. Fields