my life in madonnawannabe…

borderline…my elementary school introduction to what so many boys would make me to feel…

over and favorite track off of ‘like a virgin’…my friend cassie and i choreographed our first dance to this song and performed it in the back yard for my parents…still to this day it is the motivator i need

true blue…i remember dancing in groups of girls at middle school dances, and the cute fifties style video that some kids won in a mtv contest…still takes me to that romantic schoolgirl place when i hear it…

causing a commotion…way better than who’s that girl…takes me back to buying cassettes (oh so futuristic, cassette tape…) at the mall, getting my ears pierced and buying a stack of rubber jelly bracelets to go up the arm along with my two swatch watches…

into the groove / open your heart / material girl / dress you up … my first year of dance team in high school, we won our championship to the madonna medley…yes there was a kickline to material girl and it involved ending up in the splits (something i can still do, strangely enough)

cherish. favorite romantic song to this day. and the video on the beach? ditto. i temporarily abandoned my obsession as my depeche mode years surrounded me, loving her music in secret.

express yourself. yes a few years later i wore a black bra under a suitjacket and owned the club. one sequin number in particular, meow. owning the sexuality rather than just giggling for the boys? writing and dancing and wearing black and taking a boy toy on myself straight from existentialism

now i’m following you. love the madonna / warren beatty duet. in high school i worked at the record store in the mall (at the rare point where records, cassettes, laserdiscs and those lame cd’s that no-one-will-ever-buy were all selling at the same time). my friend dressed up as breathless mahoney for halloween and i remember selling out of ‘justify my love’ video singles.

fever. reminds me in alternating memories of dance clubs and dating my future ex-husband, sitting in late night coffeeshops before they were on every streetcorner.

bye bye baby. ‘this is the first time, and the last time, you’ll ever see me cry’

i’ll remember, from the ‘with honors’ soundtrack. crying in my car as i left the city of roses to start a new life away from my future ex-husband in denver. yes, denver. (oy).

survival. learning to be away from him in a town i severely detested.

take a bow. when i broke up with him. ‘the show is over say goodbye…’ i can still picture my lonely self, choosing solitude over watching the man i loved at the time about to jump into the life of cocaine and heroin and working for a certain revolting band of that decade.

buenos aires. integrated into my new life in seattle, seeing evita at the harvard exit on the hill near my apartment that overlooked the needle and the sound. that song always makes me happy.

you must love me. didn’t affect me seriously at the time. heard it last week and it made me a puddle of tears.

i’d rather be your lover. from ray of light, my favorite song which includes me’shell ndegeocello on a portion of the track, sexy as hell and when i was at the peak of my daring 20’s. my best friend antonio and i hitting the clubs (the vogue, neighbors, etc.) and i was all over it, even going on my own some nights just to get some booty shakin’ in.

nothing really matters. another happiest song ever, had me in a great mood til she did that damn creepy kimono video which i can never get out of my head.

music. my future ex husband had come back after years away, fresh on the methadone and out of jail. i was fresh out of paris and living a life i had never dreamed would be so energized. and of course i saw this as a punk rock fairytale. shit. i mean, the boy loved madonna almost as much as a gay man. how could i not.

what it feels like for a girl. best lyrics ever. truth on vinyl. ass kicking video directed by guy ritchie, that time in her life when she so clearly fell in love with love.

nothing fails. living in santa barbara, driving up to the mesa on a perennially sunny day. ‘i’m not religious but i feel so moved’. right about the time everything went to hell in my life. oh and ps i think american life was one of her best, too bad america was so obsessed with britney. gag. (ok just a little gag as i do have three BS singles on my ipod).

like it or not. best song off of confessions. wasn’t a big fan of the singles on this album but this one resonated – ‘this is who i am you can like it or not, you can love me or leave me, cuz i’m never gonna stop’

jump. when my dad passed and i was extricating from the farmer, this was what i needed to hear.

she’s not me. ass kicking song. another reminder of the one who fucked around and lost me. and a great dance tune whether in the kitchen or in the club.

madonna is my hero. not my idol. my hero. she is a strong and powerful and sexy and imperfect and intelligent and evolving woman. still working at finding that love, still dancing, still finding herself in the world, yet making an impression on so many that has caused us, as women, to feel that we are capable, equal to the task, and can be sexy, strong, and smart – and human.

yes this is a tribute. amen to the sisters.


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