We don’t do holidays like a lot of folks do ’em.
We have our own story as a couple and with that, our own philosophy – in particular, we do whatever the hell we want to do each year. Get a tree? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. Go out? Stay in? Put up lights? Ignore it altogether? Do gifts? Do experiences? Do nothing at all? Anything is fine, anything is acceptable. We just agree ahead of time and as long as that happens, we good.
Our holidays are not defined by how others want them to be. We do us.
For those like us who are childless-not-by-choice (CNBC), in a holiday season that primarily focuses on children (or religion…or both), we fit…nowhere. Unlike many of our peers, we don’t have pressure to go along with the various forms of madness because our only chosen family is each other and our Mum out in Oz (Dan’s stepmum but I hate the word ‘step’ for someone as utterly wonderful as she is). I’ve read too many stories of people treating my CNBC peeps like crap because they dare to handle them in a less traditional way on the holidays, whether it be to minimize their triggers by not forcing themselves into family situations, doing something completely different, or asking for a bit of understanding…and it just pisses me off how shit so many people are to people who’ve been through so damn much as it is. But then again, not surprising as hey, my husband’s sister (who went through IVF to have his niece!) ignored us completely through our infertility then moved away without telling him, and as blog readers from way back might remember, when our baby died my mother chose to be with her new boyfriend rather than drive the 30 minutes to my house to hold my hand when I begged her to come over while I hemhorraged blood at home because my doctor thought that would be the best way to go through it (via misoprostol). And the many who did the “thoughts and prayers then ignore” thing afterwards…or ghosted us as our infertility treatments progressed.
So we have never relied on anyone or expected anything from anyone when it comes to the holidays. Most folks have traditions they go to, so we do our own thing. And, with that, here’s what 2018’s Xmas looked like for us…
A lovely sunrise forced me (not my husband, though) out of bed early to appreciate. A gorgeous pineapple from our neighbors behind us (I don’t eat the stuff but Dan will! And how cool is fruit as a gift? Way cooler than some cheesy awful Wal-Mart thing!). Christmas morning we had brunch consisting of home-cured Canadian bacon, French toast made from homemade saffron challah topped with homemade apple chai butter and pomegranate. The evening before we enjoyed Australia Night (or, Commonwealth Food, as I easingly referred to it as much of these items are popular in the UK as wellt) with a savory pork pie that included apples and sage and cider in the crust, along with a gorgeous chocolate biscuit cake (I used this recipe but substituted dark chocolate leftover from truffle making instead of semi-sweet). We turned on the lights for the last time (honey I do NOT have any interest in a tree from December 26th on….), and went outside to find that our 3 healthy girls have finally discovered the little tiny seasonal creek on the edge of the property. Best present ever was watching them quack in happiness getting in, sliding down the creek a bit and like little kids on sleds, turning around and going back for another ‘ride’. Needless to say there was no convincing them to come back to the run so now I just know that this is their morning gig and they’ll eventually return to the run for lunch 🙂 Oh yeah = and we pulled out our Christmas Crackers (I won both rounds) and donned our crowns and that was that. Ho ho ho y’all, another holiday is done. Wheee……!