Say No to Narcissism

I have noticed a lot of posts on LinkedIn and blogs and YouTube videos lately that are so completely self-centered on #firstworldproblems.

Parents with jobs who are SO lucky to be able to work from home are whining about actually having to look after their children and help them with their homework (oh the horror!).

Celebrities are obsessively asking each other how they are “holding up” as if living in a mansion with a swimming pool is so traumatizing… then having the nerve to instruct folks to stay home when millions cannot because they have to make sure people get their deliveries of non-essential crap, or pick up their garbage, or stock shelves because these assholes decided to hoard all the flour and peanut butter and TP instead of act like decent human beings.

Then everybody likes to say “we’re all in this together” as if our lives are also very identical. One woman on the radio bragged about how she gave part of her stimulus check to the station’s pledge drive, which just made me think, clearly you didn’t need it while there are others who are waiting in line at food banks and trying not to become homeless. There are these massive assumptions out there that everybody is receiving their unemployment and that everybody is eligible for stimulus checks when it’s simply not true, when individuals and small businesses are getting screwed right and left.

I could tell you about how I’m not eligible for a stimulus check because our money taken out of our 401K as last year to pay for two failed adoptions was considered income and therefore pushed us over the amount that would make us eligible…even though my consulting business closed in March and we are living on my husband’s $32K salary (which is more than he normally makes because he’s now got “hero pay” that he will of course lose when they determine the pandemic is over). And I could tell you about how the fact that I’m an independent contractor means that I’m not eligible for regular unemployment, and that my state literally just opened up the filing for independent contractors, like myself, 3 days ago, many weeks after the first “CARES” Act was signed…but that it will still take at least a month to get my first check, meaning we won’t see a dime until June at least. And I could tell you how our internet is so bad that most jobs that I look at that are working from home require three times the bandwidth than we can even get in our rural area.

But I’m not going to talk about my fears, because I have a home, my husband has a job, and with ultra conservative spending we will be fine.

I’m not going to whine about self care and I’m sure as hell not going to assume that everybody else is okay when I know they are not. I’m not going to condescend to assume I know what’s best for people who are in truly dire straits.

And I sure as heck am not going to listening to the people who are complaining about having to be around their kids all day while they are blessed to be able to work from home and still bring home the same paycheck they always have. I’m not going to listen to how they claim they are homeschooling when they are actually closer to teachers aides pretending they are teachers when teachers are still busting their arses trying to connect with their students. And I’m definitely not going to give any of my time to those privileged folks who are not grateful for what they have. Being a survivor of 7 failed donor egg IVF attempts, miscarriage and 3 failed adoptions, I would do anything to be “stuck” like those parents are. And I know many of my fellow infertile sisters feel the same.

I see that Amazon is making record profits and people are hypocritically complaining about big corporations while ordering from them, the biggest and worst one of them all. I think about what horrors that company is putting its warehouse staff through so people can get their unnecessary crap even though the people making sure they get this crap are not getting protected nor treated with respect or given the benefits they work so hard for and truly deserve.

We need to start writing about things that are beyond our own little situations. The fact that we are blogging means we have privilege. Let’s take a break from comforting our bruised egos and let’s start drawing attention to those whose lives we can’t even imagine having to live… And how we can help.

I’m going to help. I’m going to call attention to the fact that women are being abused at exponentially higher levels because they are forced to stay home with their abusers… Then make a donation to my local women’s shelter. And I’m going to try and improve my level of knowledge about what is going on in the rest of the world along with right here in my County, to see what I can do to help. To spread the truth when our executive branch of government is full of lies. Let’s all give and share of ourselves in any way we can to those who need us. Let’s do better. Let’s check our privilege.

#blogging #coronavirus #whiteprivilege #socialmedia #narcissism

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