One of the most amazing experiences I’ve had in my yoga history has been in experiencing the two-hour ayurvedic workshops taught by Dana Dupont of Urban Gita. Combining gentle and yin styles of yoga with ayurvedic oils and a focus on self care, these hours helped me through times when I needed to heal more than I can ever describe in words. So I – naturally – begged Dana to bless my blog with a guest post, and we are in luck! Here, her story of Waking up with Emotions…
So one day I woke up after drinking a bottle of wine (maybe two) with my boots, coat and purse still around my shoulder and thought,
“Hmm, I wonder where my car is parked?” “I wonder if I paid the bartender?” “I hope my money is still in my purse.” “OH SHIT! I was supposed to be at work an hour ago!”
I race to the yoga studio I work at and hope that the gum I’m chewing covers the smell of wine I’m sweating out of my pores. I feel like such a jerk, as I have to tell the studio owner that I’m sorry I forgot to set my alarm.
“Is it normal that a single mother in yoga teacher training that works at a yoga studio drinks like this?”
I’m the last person to know that I have a problem. All of my friends before teacher training are party people who wait tables and perform, so the first time that I heard from the man I dated at this time,
“You drink like alcohol is the event, rather than going to an event that has alcohol.” I was beside myself. “Isn’t that what people do?” I think to myself, as I yelled, “NO I don’t!”
Well, this behavior went on for some time after this, with many events similar. Oh, the guilt that I don’t miss.
So, without going into a ton of detail, my brother moved to Portland the summer of 2011. I quickly felt like a teenager, hiding my behavior from him. He had been sober for 12 years, after going to prison for causing the death of my other brother while drinking and driving. Never mind the fact that I was in my late 30’s and still blackout drinking and driving after something this horrible.
I ended up going to the Oregon Country Fair with him. I was so nervous to go to the fair with him, because in 20 years, I had never been sober. I was scared that I wouldn’t be able to adorn myself without a change of head space, if you know what I mean. I also didn’t think it was possible to have a good time without aid.
To my amazement, my outfit was the best I’ve put together yet and we had a blast! On the ride home, I decided that I wanted to try clearing my mind for a bit. I asked him all kinds of questions like, “What is life like sober?”
(11 years prior, I had run away from my horrible life in Michigan to act as if life were a party and my previous life never existed. I never talked about that with any of my friends. I didn’t want to be the “Debby Downer” that my mother was.)
As my mind was clearing and my body was healing, I began to use yoga, meditation, journaling, and essential oils like my life depended upon it…because actually it did. I studied yoga therapy for addiction and began teaching. I also found the sister science to yoga – Ayurveda – and went to various healers who did Panchakarma treatments with different oils. I did many cleanses (I only recommend the oleation/triphala cleanse that is taught by Ayurveda practitioners. Other cleanses can be extremely harsh and therefore compounding addictive patterns).
So with these tools, I have dedicated my life to helping others to awake to their underlying emotions that keep us sick, so that we can feel them, and let them go. Having had gone through the feelings of being “STARK RAVING AWAKE,” I offer tools to support us through this discomfort.
Note: My new website is under construction, where I will provide a roadmap of these discoveries and tools to help with whatever you are ready to let go of that no longer serves you. The support to being Awake with Ease and Joy. It is my purpose in this lifetime to do this work.