word association

there was a time and there is a time.  i awake and feel the softness of white sheets on the curve of my hip, my arm slung around the other pillow and, hearing the steady sound of the rain outside my window, i wonder.  my skin still is hot to the touch from a night where i dreamed little and thought more. you don’t know what love is, she sang from another room.  i close my eyes again and i listen.  i feel the brightness of the clouds and think about your lips as they might brush against me, the warmth of your belly that i would want to take bites out of, the way your hands might push me down upon you.  there may be a time when i know your touch, and as i close my eyes, your voice is in my ear, intensely descriptive.  you see my layers, you peel them back slowly, pushing my hair out of my eyes so you can look at me, quietly.  there is no pretense, there is no game.  i look over and see my old paperback copy of delta of venus…last night you read it to me in my sleep, fully aware of what effect you have on me, and i envisioned my back against your chest.  i would roll onto my stomach, legs askew, and you would pull me back to you, your hand on the outline of my silhouette, memorizing me from the back of my neck to the inside of my waist to my calves and feet.  you’ve been bound to discover me and i am letting you as i dream.  each day i wandered around, breathing in and out, envisioning your gaze, what it might look like, what you might sound like.  i was always a girl in love with a feeling, a certain glance, a way someone would make me smile, i just never knew when you would wake me up..  you can quiet me, even in all my words.